Windows 2000 Texas Edition

[RiverRunner]

Bryan (gizmotxcop),

Is this what y'all use down there in Conroe, TX? :D

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Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on the Alamo.

Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin
Yes..................yep
No...................nope
Find.................hunt fer it
Go to...............over yonder
Back................back yonder
Help.................hep me out here
Stop..................kwitit
Start.................crank'er up
Settings............settins'
Programs..........stuff at duz stuff
Documents.......stuff ah done did

Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:
Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
Colerin' Book.............a graphics program
Cyferin' mersheen.....calculator
Outhouse paper.........notepad
Inner-net....................Microsoft Explorer 5.0
Pitchers......................a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps all ya'll!

Billy Bob Gates

[Avenger]

funny stuff! yeah i think that i got that version! is it suposed to crash alot too? mine does!

[B.K. Foster]

Hold on a minut', and wait till I git' back up..........
I must have gotten the wrong dern' program....I had to go an' buy that lernin' thingie off of cable TV...Channel 14...Home Shoppin' Netwerk.... And it told me how to write post rite here on Rum Runnin' Racin'.... Home of Finally Excitin' Racin'....hehehe
Heck, Eddie had to send a photo in the male, just so's I cold' figure out just what was on that there eeeemail he sent me....
But thankfully...I am marreeed to a reel smart girl, who werks as an inseuranse agent...and she types on these dern' puters....ALL day long....
Katiedid...checks my eeemales fer' me, that way she don't haf ta' werry about me runnin' off with some Rich city gerl from Husten'....


Thanks Ken....I needed that....makes me feel appreciated that you thought of me enough to post such a well researched topic....
But....you fregot the adviserey about Doughnut Squeezers...must not carry a loaded firearm around their puters' cuz they don't reboot with a bullit hole in the screen...LMAO

Laters,
Bryan

[RiverRunner]

Bryan,

I thought you might get a kick out of that! :D

Though I've managed to obtain a fairly neutral accent over the course of the years (both vocal & written), my roots are mid & southern Missouri. Y'all got the cowpoke label, I grew up as either a "hillbilly" or "dirt farmer".

I grew up in a town of < 500. Our one "Peace Keeper" in my early days wielded a 20 gauge shotgun with salt-laden, 20 gauge shells. (Don't even ask if I was ever an intended target... though I did come to find out that he really hated cherry-bombs going off under the squad car on Halloween as he sat supervising the one four-way stop in town) :p

So of course, any "hick-pointin'" puts at least three fingers pointing back my direction.

[B.K. Foster]

A wise woman...My Granny...once told me...fruit never falls far from the tree....

I heard in that part of the country...most family trees resemble creosote fence posts...'course, that's only what I herd....hehehe...
Thanks again...I definitely needed the laugh...
Laters,
Bryan

[EVADER09]

Mix that language with the biggest bon fire you'v ever seen, pig roast, boose, fireworks, and my family and thats our annual get together.

[EVADER09]

Ohh, I forgot NASCAR, big chevy trucks, mullets, hunting, and beef jerky

[B.K. Foster]

I thought that type of haircut went out with the 80s....

Laters,
Bryan

[EVADER09]

mostly, escept around here. In fact my brother has a mullet, and a heck of a lot of other people. At MIS there was a mullet count to see how many mullets where there and it wasn't no small number.