Spuds
02-10-2003, 09:37 PM
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
A couple sandwiches short of a picnic.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
Two enchiladas shy of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
As sharp as a bowling ball.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His train has gone around the corner.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Could not count to 21 if he was naked.
Half a bubble off level.
Brick short of a load.
Thinking in 7 bit words.
He is suffering from a cold solder joint
They have write only memory.
As much output as Shorted cell.
Tell him a joke on Thursday and he'll start laughing in church.
Well he's rowing like heck, but his oars donšt reach the water.
His nut is stripped.
He's just as happy as if he was in his right mind.
Only has one oar in the water.
A sad case of a man educated beyond his intelligence.
Spring-loaded to the stupid position.
The butter has slipped off his pancake.
So dense, light bends around them.
If brains were taxed, they would get a rebate.
How many angels could dance on his head?
Not the crispiest Dorito in the bag.
Not the brightest bulb in the pack.
Slipped into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Needs to be watered twice a week.
Dumber Then a Box of Rocks.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
A few scones short of a tea party.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
A couple sandwiches short of a picnic.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
Two enchiladas shy of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
As sharp as a bowling ball.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His train has gone around the corner.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Could not count to 21 if he was naked.
Half a bubble off level.
Brick short of a load.
Thinking in 7 bit words.
He is suffering from a cold solder joint
They have write only memory.
As much output as Shorted cell.
Tell him a joke on Thursday and he'll start laughing in church.
Well he's rowing like heck, but his oars donšt reach the water.
His nut is stripped.
He's just as happy as if he was in his right mind.
Only has one oar in the water.
A sad case of a man educated beyond his intelligence.
Spring-loaded to the stupid position.
The butter has slipped off his pancake.
So dense, light bends around them.
If brains were taxed, they would get a rebate.
How many angels could dance on his head?
Not the crispiest Dorito in the bag.
Not the brightest bulb in the pack.
Slipped into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Needs to be watered twice a week.
Dumber Then a Box of Rocks.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
A few scones short of a tea party.