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View Full Version : Brand New Redneck Terms!


MikDee
02-14-2003, 11:48 AM
Hey, My friends and I resemble this,,, LOL,,,

Brand New 2003 Edition of "You know you're a redneck when..........."


* You take your dog for a walk and both use the same
tree.
* You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes
with a fly swatter.
* Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
* You burn your yard rather than mow it.
* You think the "Nutcracker" is something you did off
the high dive.
* The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
* You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and
they don't want it.
* You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
* You come back from the dump with more than you took.
* You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
* Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
* Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
* You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
* You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting
dog.
* You go to the stock car races and don't need a
program.
* You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
* Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
* You can spit without opening your mouth.
*You consider your license plate personalized because
your father made it.
* Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
* You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all
say"Cool Whip" on the side.
* The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
* Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
* You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
* A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000
worth of improvements.
* You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
* You missed your 5th grade graduation because you
were on jury duty.
* You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And last, but not least...

* Somebody tells you that you've got something in your
teeth,so you take them out to see what it is!!!

AndyKunz
02-14-2003, 04:21 PM
* You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

Hey, I almost had "grilled venison" the other night. Good thing I saw it first or it would have been an interesting evening.

Andy

MikDee
02-15-2003, 11:12 AM
Fresh roadkill is the Best!,,, LOL,,, I hear ya Andy, had a few near misses myself,,, There's just too many deer & not enough hunters in this section of the country,,,

I asked my son who goes to college in NC why there's not much of a deer problem down there?,,, he quipped "They know better, all these good ole boys ride around with shotguns in their pickups",,, LOL

AndyKunz
02-15-2003, 12:48 PM
When I lived there (in the Great Green Swamp, midway between Myrtle Beach SC and Wilmington NC) they did a lot of "thinning the herd" all year long. I drove a dark Torino and had extremely bright high beams. One time I found some guys spotlighting, and they didn't mind "warning" me that it's a lot safer to keep driving. I think they thought I was a Dudley.

Andy